Friday, February 10, 2012

Too much or too little?

I got a comment on my recent pages saying that I have too little description for a YA book. Now I have some, but have gotten comments in the past that too much description slows down the pace and tension too much.

So my question is what is too much description? What is too little description?

Now there are two passages below from my current piece and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is it too much description or too little?

"The buzz of immense energy flowed into Rebecca Stevens’ fingertips. The fine hair along the nape of her neck prickled as she faced the target—a wooden crate she found lying in the forest, maybe some kid’s fort idea. She surveyed the deserted field, not a soul in sight, exactly how she needed it. Since the kid with the power to control water revealed himself on national television, her world had fallen apart."

"Rebecca leaned forward on the plush couch that was positioned directly across from her father. The thought to reveal her ability to him did cross her mind, but she sighed instead. He wouldn’t understand. The oak table sat between them, and the reflection of the few remaining red embers in the fireplace glowed with occasional pops of life. She dropped her backpack on the floor and fidgeted with the string of her sweatshirt. His brown-eyed glare bored into her until she finally met his stare. Her mother was always there for her, but her father was the one she respected."

What do you guys think? Too much, too little, or just right?

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