Friday, February 3, 2012

Feeling ignored

I want to apologize to all my writing followers, but this post won't be about writing except that it is one of the best things in my life besides my family.

Now if you're still with me, I work a normal day job, the hours suck and I have been there for six years. I get paid commission and the money is all right. It gets me through my bills, usually. But lately, I have started to feel disrespected. As I said I've been there for six years and I applied for a promotion that came up recently, people around me applied too. They got interviews for it, I've done training for the position, I have seniority, yet I didn't get an interview at all. Does that seem fair? Not to me. I found out last night that the interview process was completed and I was told by another person when I applied that I was for sure going to get an interview.

Usually I would just let this slide off my back and just go with the flow and keep my mouth shut, but damn I've done that long enough. I'm tired of being looked past, just sort of being like, "maybe next time." I'm not a verbal person, a little shy for that, but really wanted to just go off and scream, but two bad things from that, could get fired for that, and then that leads to more stress for home life, so I'll just take it and move on I guess.  At least it's a job in this economy.

For those of you still reading, what would you do in this case? Should I just let it go? Should I???? In the end, this is probably all I'll do to complain, but damn if it doesn't just piss me off to no end to get ignored like this. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but over the past six years, this is the first time in a long long time that something from work carried with me over to the next day. I will be back to my normal posting next week.

Thank you for my time.


  1. John, I'm sorry you're going through this. And while you're querying too. Double ouch!

    A lot of how to handle the situation depends on the dynamics of the office.

    I would get all my ranting and raving out at home or away from the office. Then I'd go to someone up the chain of command (or if you think they have any real pull, your supervisor or manager) and ask for a meeting for a different day. Give them a little time to think about it.

    Then, very calmly, tell them you were excited when this recent position came open and you applied for it because you felt you had the skill set needed to blah blah blah. You were disappointed and frustrated when you didn't even get an interview and that's why you wanted to talk with them.

    Then ask if is there something you are doing that you need to correct to prevent being overlooked in the future. If necessary ask for assistance by setting up an action plan. Make them an advocate for your advancement.

    When you talk about how you feel it usually keeps the other person from getting defensive. Avoid accusations or using "you" words or blanket statements containing "always," "never," etc.

    By doing it this way, you are accomplishing several things. You're handling it in a mature and reasonable manner. You are being proactive. You're telling them how you feel (can't fire you for that) and you're asking for help. These are all managerial skills.

    Good luck. Let us know what you do and how it goes.

  2. LOL I think my comment was longer than your post :-)

  3. Hugs, John. I was routinely overlooked, too. (Even by waiters! But that's another story.)

    I wonder if it's because we are shy and quiet, those folk upstairs don't ever notice us. Or know we'll be there, no matter what.

    Personally, I'd put out antenna for a different (and better) job. One will show up eventually, but only if you're watching for it.

    Best of luck to you!